Finding her Tranquility

         The thoughts kept churning inside. It wouldn't stop. Not music, not air, nor cupcakes seemed to help. Cupcakes always helped but this once. The turmoil was too great, the thoughts of nothingness kept trashing into the front of her mind like gigantic waves. If she could put a finger on the source, just find that one small reason for all the hurt, she could  put an end to it all. But the reason kept eluding her, yet gnawing up her insides. 

        It took a humongous amount of strength to do her daily chores. Hobbies seemed hollow; unenjoyable and meaningless. The walk to the station, the long train journey to work, work itself, seemed like punishment. Punishment for no crime done. 

         It bothered her to think of unhappiness when she had no reason to be so. She looked down upon herself for not being happy when the world was convinced she had everything one would need for happiness. She couldn't argue, she had nothing to defend herself. 

        It was Thursday, one of those days in a week which can't find a spot. It always seemed like an unwanted addition to an already insignificant life. There was a constant buzz in her head. It made her head heavy, the outside noise couldn't quite reach her mind, it seemed to fall down somewhere in the vacuum. She knew she had to reach home. If only the clock didn't seem to have stalled in eternity, if only people didn't talk all at once. At the minute it hit six, she walked away from the office in silence. In her head, she was running. Running for her life. Running from the world. 

      The sound of the keys turning had never felt so soothing, the feeling of home never so strong. And there, in the middle of an unwanted day in an insignificant life she found her peace, one tear at a time. 

The Hero.

            You walk out of that matinee show, filled with wonderment at the movie you just saw. It was a happy ending of course, with the hero saving everyone's life. He fought the villains, jumped over buildings and gave the actress a ride in the air. He is 'the' hero.
           But then what is the common man who religiously goes through life in a series of set motions - day in day out, without ever giving up? He is that lucky person who got to go to school, got to see the world through books, who got to dream, but his wings were soon cut down. He passed out of school and realized - dreams require more than just dreaming. But yes, he wouldn't lose hope. The world was his stage and he was yet to explore its corners. So what if there were family constraints? Who cares if the finances are not good? Everything would work out in the end.
       But happy endings are rarer than unicorns.As days passed into months and months into years, he couldn't pin point at that single moment when he got sucked into the mundane. It just happened like a slow transitional walk.
     He works day in and out, for the moment, sacrificing every dream he had - not giving up on them, but putting them on hold. So he can fight the villain - a failing economy, jump over the buildings of trouble and come out flying free with his small, happy world; his family still intact. He is a hero.

When life comes in the way...

        It's 5am and it is funny I've woken up now. This time usually, i'm just getting into bed. But then this day is different and funny, just like the mood. The world is still a dark, quiet place; just how I like it. 
       I hear the sound of the world getting drenched and can't help smiling remembering a conversation i'd had sometime yesterday. That yesterday seems distant already, like it happened in a different world, a world called happy. I take in a deep breath, my way of coping with the world when everything becomes too heavy to bear.
     As I sit here to pen down my thoughts, I wonder when this melancholic feeling walked in. How was it so swift? And not a noise did it make at its entry. I realize I should just curl back in bed. But it's too late, the thoughts have started flooding in. Funnily, it is just one thought in repeat - what am I doing with my life?
    Before I could answer I hear noises below. The alarm ringing, mother waking up, water flowing. 
    It isn't long before mother walks into the room with a hot cup of tea; the answer, I fear, will have to wait. Because just like that life comes in the way of my search for answers. 

The Wild Child.

         She was like one of those horses you couldn't tame, no matter, how hard you tried. She ran free. Right from when she was a kid, people tried their luck at taming her. Her dad, grandfather, aunt, uncle, everyone. But their persistence didn't pay. She ran faster every time they tried. Into the woods, into the wild.
         She grew up and hoped for a liberal world outside. Waiting to engulf her into its arms. She held her breath and stepped out, but it wasn't long until she realized, it was all the same. Her tiny family represented a large section of the world. This wild child, for the first time, felt lost. The irony being, she was absolutely alone in a swarm of people. This became an obstacle in her running, for she had to go against the powerful crowd. But her brave heart gave her strength. As she ran faster she realized, some one was next to her. Running with her.
       And for the first time she understood, she didn't need people to tame her, rather they couldn't. All they could do was run with her, into the wild.

I Choose Freedom.

If you would ask me 'what is my worst fear?'

 I would say 'losing my freedom.'

For my choices are my identity and without freedom I wouldn't get to make all those tiny little choices every single day that affect my life so much.

But true freedom I believe is only achieved moments after birth, and then we are bound by society. 

Some lose themselves in this bondage while others fight back with all their might. 

But no one comes out completely victorious.

 And that is okay. 

Because at the end, all that matters is that you did what you knew was the right thing for you. 

It's time.

It's time for new beginnings where dreams never end. 

It's time we make make everyday special. 

It's time you started taking my breath away.

 It's time to make beautiful memories with beautiful people. 

It's time to work freaking hard like never before. And just when you feel you can do no more, put in that last one percent. 

It's time to make reality everything that once was just a dream.

 It's time to live. It's time to soar.

Things I Would Die For..

       Can this thing called Life get any more boring? Most of my days go about in wondering where all the fun times have gone. Or maybe i'm just that type of a person who feels her life was better before and that leads her to be unhappy all through her present.

    

 What sort of a life is an ideal life for you?

For me it's about awesome friends, who get the sense in your nonsense. 

Peace at home. 

Amazing food, without worrying about weight gain. 

Feeling sexy.

 Interesting subjects to study. 

A loving pet. 

Owning a DSLR. 

Watching movies and feeling what those characters are feeling.

Humour.

 Laughing till your stomach hurts and you fall on the ground and you can't stop the tears. 

Having someone who can handle your mood swings every single bloody day. 

Being open to love. 

Loving in return. 

Travel. 

A bathtub to soak your self in every night.

Sarcasm.

 Having no expectations from people. 

Books. 

A warm blanket on a super cold night.

 Mom made tea. 

                   

 Crazy moments. Beautiful memories.

I'm asking for too much. I know.

17 things a 17yr old girl can't live without..

Considering there are exactly 54 days left for me to turn 18, I think making this list is so essential :D

1. Mommy - Eternally a mommy's gal and she deserves to come 1st in my list :)
2. Twilight series- Yeah I know they are super cheesy! Duh, so what.  :| (Someone gift me Jacob) <3
3. Cell phone which groans due to over use. 
4. Booze baby booze! \m/ Or atleast Wine! :D
5. F A C E B O O K.
6. Long hair Hair of any kind! (Boys in my college have better than mine) O_o
7. A major crush on an absolute jerk- I really don't know why we do this to ourselves! -_-
8. Water bottle- If you don't carry one you are a dehydrated fool.Thank you very much.
9. A bratty sibling who is the Mojo Jojo in your life.
10. Teachers whose very faces make you LOL!
11. Old pair of Levis. 
12. Books- And if you CAN live without them then you are psycho! *_*
13. Kajal,kajal and darker kajal. *gives sexy looks through her kajal filled eyes*
14. Baggy jeans to show off your Jockey underwear. (Hey wait this comes in the guys category!) *confused*
15. A bag the size of a mini continent which you need to carry all your necessary shit!
16. Marine Drive- Does this even need explanation?!?!
17. Amazingly gorgeous, sexy, loving friends! *grins*

So here is my beautiful list which you have to consider as your bible. No arguments.Thank you.

The Truth.

Random stranger in train.(Hope she doesn't mind i put her pic)  

              I tried so hard to make things right, to act as if everything was perfect. But it wasn't. The truth doesn't change by wishful thinking, right? Today during one more long fight the reason hit me hard and fast. 
 You don't bring out the best in me. We were just never meant to be.